Transition Time…Again

Life is full of stages. It never ends. It’s like bullet points for your life. Mine are baby, toddler, adolescent, teenager, young man, pothead, restaurateur, open mic comic, meth head, sous chef, road comic, actor, husband, writer, director, father, out of work writer, delivery man, divorcee, single parent, and now cruise ship comic. I might have missed a few, especially around meth head, but you get the idea. Life is pretty much an endless cycle of transitions from one stage to another.

Transition to: Parenthood (Babies)

BAM! Babies! One day you’re rushing through traffic praying not to catch a red light. Blink your eyes and the next thing you know you’re so sleep deprived you’re praying for a red light so you can catch a quick three minute nap. ENJOY!

Weekend parties are now diapers and bouncy chairs. Holiday dinners are strained peas and spit towels. Your midnights are now taken up with feedings – a warm bottle of formula or breast milk rather than a cold bottle of beer. But, babies sure are cute. They’re a great conversation piece. “Hey, everybody, look at my baby!” Babies go where you go. Period. They have no say in the matter. Sure, they cry a lot, but they always cry and that could mean anything – they’re hungry, they need a change, they don’t like you. You just have to guess.

Transition to: Parenthood (Toddler Years)

It was around this stage I started to lose touch with many friends. Grown up parties are death to a four-year-old toddler. Toddlers need non-stop entertainment and they get bored real fast. There’s still crying, but it’s combined with words, opinions, actual complaints. There’s no more guessing. Toddlers come right out and tell you, “This sucks I wanna go!”

Transition to: Parenthood (School Years)

Field trips, school functions, play dates, kids’ birthday parties. Your child’s social life becomes your social life. Kids’ parties are death to an adult. This is why Chuck E Cheese sells beer. You thought your life was run by your kids before? Wiping a baby’s runny nose is nothing compared to soccer practice, volley ball, or swim lessons. Most of your time is spent with the specific class or group your child is in. Suddenly, you hang with people not so much by choice, but because your kid is friends with their kid. Some parents you get along with. Some, yikes! Doesn’t matter, you will be shoulder to shoulder with these other parents at school functions for the next 12-18 years. YAY!

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