This Charming Man – Morrissey Turns 56

Miserable Steven Patrick Morrissey turns 56 today. Love him or hate him, there’s no denying that Morrissey is a true original, a celibate rock star blessed with a croon to make the girls swoon, singing about heartache and death. Lead singer of the Smiths as well as on 11 solo albums over the last thirty years, Morrissey has a voice that is simply unmistakable, a kind of lamenting nasal chant. As lyricists go he’s one of the best there’s ever been, writing sad, funny, human stories tinged with longing, desire, and ennui. Through it all, Morrissey has remained just out of arm’s reach, never truly accessible to his legions of fans across the globe, and this holding back has fueled his mysterious artistry. Morrissey doesn’t care if we love him. The fact that we do anyway is a testament to his extraordinary and charismatic power. Cheers to you, Mr. Morrissey!

Here’s a few of my favorites – songs and lyrics.

IRISH BLOOD ENGLISH HEART

Irish blood, English heart, This I’m made of
There is no one on earth I’m afraid of
And no regime can buy or sell me

I’ve been dreaming of a time when
To be English is not to be baneful
To be standing by the flag not feeling shameful, Racist or partial

Irish blood, English heart, This I’m made of
There is no one on earth I’m afraid of
And I will die with both of my hands untied

I’ve been dreaming of a time when
The English are sick to death of Labour, And Tories
And spit upon the name Oliver Cromwell
And denounce this royal line that still salute him,
And will salute him forever.

HOW SOON IS NOW

I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Of nothing in particular

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way?
I am Human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Oh, of nothing in particular

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way ?
I am Human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

There’s a club, if you’d like to go
You could meet somebody who really loves you
So you go, and you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home, and you cry
And you want to die
When you say it’s gonna happen “now”
Well, when exactly do you mean?
See I’ve already waited too long
And all my hope is gone

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way ?
I am Human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

ASK

Shyness is nice, and
Shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life
You’d like to
Shyness is nice, and
Shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life
You’d like to
So, if there’s something you’d like to try
If there’s something you’d like to try
ASK ME – I WON’T SAY “NO” – HOW COULD I?
Coyness is nice, and
Coyness can stop you
From saying all the things in
Life you’d like to
So, if there’s something you’d like to try
If there’s something you’d like to try
ASK ME – I WON’T SAY “NO” – HOW COULD I?
Spending warm Summer days indoors
Writing frightening verse
To a buck-toothed girl in Luxembourg
ASK ME, ASK ME, ASK ME
ASK ME, ASK ME, ASK ME
Because if it’s not Love
Then it’s the Bomb, the Bomb, the Bomb, the Bomb, the Bomb, the Bomb, the Bomb
That will bring us together
Nature is a language – can’t you read?
Nature is a language – can’t you read?
SO… ASK ME, ASK ME, ASK ME
ASK ME, ASK ME, ASK ME
Because if it’s not Love
Then it’s the Bomb, the Bomb, the Bomb, the Bomb, the Bomb, the Bomb, the Bomb
That will bring us together
If it’s not Love
Then it’s the Bomb
Then it’s the Bomb
That will bring us together
SO… ASK ME, ASK ME, ASK ME
ASK ME, ASK ME, ASK ME
Oh, la…

HANDSOME DEVIL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLEYvF99YWc
All the streets are crammed with things
Eager to be held
I know what hands are for
And I’d like to help myself
You ask me the time

But I sense something more
And I would like to give
What I think you’re asking for
You handsome devil

Oh, you handsome devil
Let me get my hands
On your mammary glands
And let me get your head
On the conjugal bed
I say, I say, I say

I crack the whip
And you skip
But you deserve it
You deserve it, deserve it, deserve it

A boy in the bush
Is worth two in the hand
I think I can help you get through your exams
Oh, you handsome devil

Oh, let me get my hands
On your mammary glands
And let me get your head
On the conjugal bed

I say, I say, I say
I crack the whip
And you skip
But you deserve it
You deserve it, deserve it, deserve it

And when we’re in your scholarly room
Who will swallow whom ?
When we’re in your scholarly room
Who will swallow whom ?
You handsome devil

Oh, let me get my hands
On your mammary glands
And let me get your head
On the conjugal bed
I say, I say, I say

There’s more to life than books, you know
But not much more
Oh, there’s more to life than books, you know
But not much more, not much more
Oh, you handsome devil
Oh, you handsome devil
Ow !

BIGMOUTH STRIKES AGAIN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgxEJOi6GtA
Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking
When I said I’d like to smash every tooth
In your head

Oh … sweetness, sweetness, I was only joking
When I said by rights you should be
Bludgeoned in your bed

And now I know how Joan of Arc felt
Now I know how Joan of Arc felt
As the flames rose to her roman nose
And her Walkman started to melt
Oh …

Bigmouth, la … bigmouth, la …
Bigmouth strikes again
And I’ve got no right to take my place
With the Human race

Oh, bigmouth, la … bigmouth, la
Bigmouth strikes again
And I’ve got no right to take my place
With the Human race

And now I know how Joan of Arc felt
Now I know how Joan of Arc felt
As the flames rose to her roman nose
And her hearing aid started to melt

Bigmouth, la … bigmouth, la …
Bigmouth strikes again
And I’ve got no right to take my place
With the Human race
Oh …

Bigmouth, oh … bigmouth, la …
Bigmouth strikes again
And I’ve got no right to take my place
With the Human race
Oh …

Bigmouth, oh … bigmouth, la …
Bigmouth strikes again
And I’ve got no right to take my place
With the Human race
Oh …
Bigmouth, oh … bigmouth, la …
Bigmouth strikes again
And I’ve got no right to take my place
With the Human race
Oh …

THIS CHARMING MAN

Punctured bicycle
on a hillside desolate
will Nature make a man of me yet?

When in this charming car
this charming man
Why pamper life’s complexities
when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?

I would go out tonight
but I haven’t got a stitch to wear
this man said “It’s gruesome
that someone so handsome should care”

A jumped-up pantry boy
who never knew his place
he said “return the rings”
he knows so much about these things
he knows so much about these things

I would go out tonight
but I haven’t got a stitch to wear
this man said “It’s gruesome
that someone so handsome should care”
This charming man
this charming man

A jumped-up pantry boy
who never knew his place
he said “return the ring”
he knows so much about these things
he knows so much about these things
he knows so much about these things

Punctured bicycle
on a hillside desolate
will Nature make a man of me yet?
When in this charming car
this charming man

Why pamper life’s complexities
when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?
I would go out tonight
but I haven’t got a stitch to wear
this man said “It’s gruesome
that someone so handsome should care”

A jumped-up pantry boy
who never knew his place
he said “return the rings”
he knows so much about these things
he knows so much about these things

I would go out tonight
but I haven’t got a stitch to wear
this man said “It’s gruesome
that someone so handsome should care”

This charming man
this charming man
A jumped-up pantry boy
who never knew his place
he said “return the ring”
he knows so much about these things
he knows so much about these things
he knows so much about these things

FRANKLY MR. SHANKLEY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ownZDWNIRs
Frankly, Mr. Shankly, this position I’ve held
It pays my way, and it corrodes my soul
I want to leave, you will not miss me
I want to go down in musical history

Frankly, Mr. Shankly, I’m a sickening wreck
I’ve got the 21st century breathing down my neck
I must move fast, you understand me
I want to go down in celluloid history, Mr. Shankly

Fame, Fame, fatal Fame
It can play hideous tricks on the brain
But still I’d rather be Famous
Than righteous or holy, any day
Any day, any day

But sometimes I’d feel more fulfilled
Making Christmas cards with the mentally ill
I want to live and I want to Love
I want to catch something that I might be ashamed of

Frankly, Mr. Shankly, this position I’ve held
It pays my way and it corrodes my soul
Oh, I didn’t realise that you wrote poetry
I didn’t realise you wrote such bloody awful poetry, Mr. Shankly

Frankly, Mr. Shankly, since you ask
You are a flatulent pain in the arse
I do not mean to be so rude
Still, I must speak frankly, Mr. Shankly

Oh, give us your money !

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