I Love a Man in Uniform

by Mary Kay Holmes on May 1, 2013

in COLUMNS, FILM, IN PRAISE OF..., LISTS, ME AND..., VIDEO

I have a thing for superheroes. Not comic books or illustrations or that dude in the Spiderman outfit outside Trader Joe’s advertising the sushi joint next door. I’m talking about buff, macho actors in skin tight unitards with broad shoulders and fiberglass molded six packs saving the day. If there’s a montage of a dude in a beater tank getting into a suit, I’m in.

Since I absolutely adore wasting hours upon hours looking at video clips of handsome men, I have compiled for you my current top 5 actors I would totally bang now that they are superheroes. I feel I should add that the only reason Clooney is NOT on this list is because I would have given up chocolate and wine for him long before he was Batman.

Let’s begin:

5. Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man

I have been a fan since the Less Than Zero days, but have never really ranked him as worthy of a free pass until he rocked Iron Man. There is just something about humor mixed with raw masculinity…plus I kinda hope he and Guy Pearce make out in the suits.

4. Andrew Garfield as Spiderman

I have gotten a bit of flack for this one, because most people I know think Toby Maguire was a better Spiderman. Although I loved Toby as Peter Parker, I did not want to take a shower with him, so Andrew wins this one…

3. Christian Bale as Batman

We all know he’s a good actor and can be kind of a jerk (supposedly), but when he strapped that mask on I found myself watching the trailer over and over and over. In all fairness, I’m a Batman lover so it was kind of a sure thing. You may hate the voice, but if was coming at you in a dark bedroom I don’t think you’d complain…

2. Henry Cavill as Superman

Yes, Henry Cavill is hot. No, I did not watch Tudors, and maybe if I had he would have made his way into my heart (pants) a long time ago. Luckily I get to induct him in his suit, and that gives me great joy. Welcome to the club, Henry, and please feel free to call anytime.

1. Hugh Jackman as Wolverine

I’m obsessed right now. In Les Mis he touched my inner theater nerd, but in Wolverine he has awakened something else. Let’s just say if I bumped into him in a dimly lit hallway or closet, I wouldn’t run away. P.S. I think I have watched this trailer 400 times. I had a dream the other night where I was in it. See if you can guess which part…

Mary Kay Holmes (Sr. Contributing Editor, Los Angeles)

Mary Kay Holmes runs an empire called Daily Hot Guy and dares you to download the iPhone app so you can join her in a world where there is an abundance of gorgeous men, chocolate and cocktails.Check out the iPhone app in iTunes!Handsome men are awesome.www.dailyhotguy.com

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