Archive of Mike Anthrope

Mike Anthrope is a comedian based in Los Angeles. Originally from Chicago, where he worked in a used auto parts store, Mike has traveled the world in search of trivial things that disgust him so that, by their omission, he might discover the things he loves.

Mike has contributed 5 brilliant piece(s).

In Contempt of: is a semi-comedic column that celebrates all the things I can’t stand…

little boy prayingEvery night before I went to bed when I was a kid, my Ma and I would kneel down, leaning on the edge of my race car bed, and we would pray. My Ma loved to pray, always clutching a set of rosary beads to her chest and offering up dozens of prayers that neither my brother nor I would come to harm, or that my father would find a better job, or that our lost dog, Colby, would return. But none of her prayers were ever answered. My brother and I, during the course of our perpetual mischief, were forever being trucked off to the emergency room to get our various wounds sewn shut and to have x-rays on our myriad broken bones, after we jumped our bikes over the road and fell from the branches of tall trees. My father continued to work a stamp press at a factory that made bottle caps for twenty-five years. And old Colby, well, his whereabouts remained a mystery. Read More…

Happy Victoria Day, Canada! (Whatever that Means)

by Mike Anthrope May 20, 2013

Summer arrives today, sort of, for our neighbor to the north, as Canadians celebrate Victoria Day. This federal holiday simultaneously commemorates the arrival of warmer weather and the birthday of former monarch Queen Victoria (who died in 1901), as well as the birthday of the current Canadian Monarch, the Queen of England (Queen Elizabeth II),  […]

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In Contempt of: Christmas…Music

by Mike Anthrope December 23, 2012

In Contempt of: A column that celebrates all the things in life I can’t stand. If you’re anything like me, your eardrums are about to explode by now because you’ve heard so much lame Christmas music blaring from the in-built ceiling speakers in every department store and every open car window, the 9,000th rendition of “White […]

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In Contempt of: Sandals

by Mike Anthrope December 10, 2012

In Contempt of: A column that celebrates all the things I can’t stand. SANDALS I can’t stand sandals. On men. I also can’t stand chastity belts, or hair shirts, or burkas, or Amish dress. I’m not particularly fond of bathrobes, or dashikis, or ten gallon cowboy hats, either. But of all life’s fashions and styles, […]

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In Contempt of: A misanthropic column that celebrates all the things I can’t stand!!

by Mike Anthrope November 15, 2012

I can’t stand Hacky Sack. Of all the sports and games of leisure ever devised, Hacky Sack is the most lame. I suppose “twirl the stick with two other sticks and pretend to be a Renaissance Faire jester,” and “balance yourself on a board over a rolling log” (presumably as a nod to lumberjack competitions) […]

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